Friday, 30 March 2012

Happy Birthday, Helen Ruth Davies

Today would have been my sister's 40th birthday.

I've found today really hard. When Helen was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 31, and we read that the survival statistics were that only 20% survived beyond 5 years, she was determined that she was going to be one of that 20%. When, after pre-op chemotherapy, full hysterectomy and oophorectomy and partial removal of the omentum, and post-op chemotherapy, the cancer came back after only a year, she realised that they weren't going to be able to cure this cancer and she was definitely going to die younger than she should. It was at that point that she told me that her goal was to make it to 40. She knew that the cancer was going to keep coming back and needing more treatment and that eventually the chemo etc would cease to be effective, but she never lost hope that if she could just keep going, in time a cure, or a more effective treatment, might be found.

It's been nearly 4 years since she died and I still miss her so much. I wanted to commemorate her birthday, the birthday that she so wanted to reach, so I took my daughters (who she never got to meet) for tea and cake to celebrate Helen's birthday. And I made a page in my art journal.

I've cried a lot of tears today, especially when writing the journalling on this page.

Happy Birthday, Helen. I miss you.


fatmonica said...

This is such a powerful journal page I feel like an intruder reading it.It made me cry but I could feel your sister's presence in your writing. x

Virginia said...

Oh sweetie, this is such an emotional post and so heart felt. I'm glad you remembered the day and made the journal page so you could document your emotions and how you felt and where you were when you reached this goal that she so longed to see. I'm sure she sat by you as you remembered her.

Sending you hugs

Sue Jones said...

Lost my darling sister to Cancer this year just before her Birthday xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alix said...

such a good idea to go for swanky cake to commemorate your sister's day and to make a journal page you'll never forget doing.
your sister sounds inspirational...and with my 40th next year and the treatment i'm going through...this hits me as especially poignant.

BEX said...

Ali, I understand your pain. Your page is beautiful and heartfelt. You never forget those you have lost and certain dates are always the hardest.

salamanda said...

I hope journalling helps and cake and fun to remember her is the way to go. My brother's birthday on 9th and it will be 4 years since he died too. One day at a time x

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